Posted by Slippy_Slider on May 17, 2008 at 14:05:19:
In Reply to: Singles, Stress & Burnout posted by Fern on May 12, 2008 at 07:47:47:
I think that one of the things that leaps out at me regarding this is the fine balance between what the Bible teaches on singleness and what the CHURCH teaches.
While I agree with C_Ruth on looking at what they Bible says and standing on that.......There is a more complicated sonario of standing your ground as a single person in the Church!!! Often the Church claims to teach what the Bible teaches on the issue of singles in the Church, but how this pans out in practice...and how Biblical this really is!!!
It is assumed that Singles have more time, however - many married people in my Church have one half of the couple who can afford to work part-time (or not work at all). Even if both work, this is for extra money so that they are more 'comfortable' in their work/life balance and can pay off the Mortgage quicker!!
Also, many couples with children, in the Church, (largely) come from 'nice Middle-Class families' who have supportive grand-parents who are happy to babysit at most opportunities! This is a generalisation, but the truth behind it is nevertheless there. Single people seemed to be grouped together with the poor, the homeless etc etc - anyone seen as a problem!
I feel very positive about my singleness, and have a very strong sense of Call to singleness. But it is also a real and genuine fight to get my (married) minister et al to understand that single people have limits in what they can do and what singleness is like beyond the early 20s (which is beyond many people's experience and understanding).
I am currently training (and testing the call) to be a Local Preacher (which is very intense & time consuming - as well as rewarding!) but my minister seems to think that, as a single person needing to work full time to pay the rent etc etc, that I can draw, out of a hat, a spare 10 hours or so a week (to do ........) like drawing a white rabbit out of a top hat!!
Another person in my Church (who married in her 50s and is now single again - so, in other words, has been single for most of her life) stated my case to my minister a while back, to try and get him to 'understand' what it is like to be a single person in their late 30s.
I see a lot of my role as a single person is to 'Educate' the largely clueless church on singleness and I believe that the enemy wants me (as a preacher) to be rendered so ineffective (because of being too busy) that I am of no use!!!! I think that a lot of Local Preachers in the Methodist Church are like this (single or otherwise)...PLEASE PRAY... Satan would rather have someone on the preaching plan preaching a rubbish sermon than someone having the time to listen to God and to preach a stonking and effective one!!!!SINGLE OR OTHERWISE!
I am quite happy as a single person, but, I believe that (at the age of 36 and being fairly subversive anyway), with the call to singleness can come a call to fight and speak prophetically to the Church and to challenge the Church.........................
Does the Church (as a whole) live out what the Bible says about single people? ? ................ I don't believe it does, but I am not going to shrug my shoulders and accept it quietly.
God calls us to be bold and to speak. His word is a double edge sword that challenges us and makes us feel uncomfortable. His word is designed to enable us to challenge the Church and to "change the world". Jesus turns the world upside down and a lot of the people he offended were in the religious institutions of his time. That doesn't mean that I don't respect authority, but simply that if Jesus convicts us to speak (and gives us a platform to do so) then we must do so!!!
I believe that too often the Church waters the Word down and makes us accept the status quo and adopt a nice comfy lifestyle - single or otherwise!!!!!!!!!!!!