Posted by Joyous on June 15, 2008 at 12:42:21:
In Reply to: Re: Unconditional love?? posted by Larinae on June 11, 2008 at 19:04:16:
You are right; there are four different words for the word "love." The English language can be so confusing & a bit inadequate at times. I can say, "I love the mountains." "I love my cat." I love my mom." "I love God." I hope I hope I don't love my cat or the mountains more than my mom. I hope my greatest love is for God (thinking of the two verses: Matthew 10:37 "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me." Mark 12:30 "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.")
Love in the English language can mean so many different things, as we all know. We think of love as a feeling (that's why people claim they fall "in love" and "out of love."). Sometimes we even substitute others words for love. Instead of saying to someone, "I love you, " we might say, "I'm crazy about you." How 'crazy' is that (*smile*)? ! Sadly, love can be distorted. It can be used to hurt others & gratify self - love someone until they no longer bring some type of benefit.
In the Greek however, there are four words used to describe four different type of love: Eros, Storge, Phileo, and Agape.
Eros speaks of physical love & affection as between a man and a woman. In Greek mythology Eros was the primordial god of lust, love, and intercourse. He was worshipped as a fertility deity. We get the word erotic (giving sexual pleassure) from Eros. The Romans borrowed this Greek god and named him Cupid. Eros is not necessarily something evil because God is the Creator of love and sex (sex in the confines of marriage). But Eros sure has been perverted by the devil.
Storge talks about family affection. It is the love of parent to a child and a child to the parent - even between siblings. This love is marked with commitment & loyalty. It is willing to sacrifice & doesn't expect much; it will overlook faults. It's the love & acceptance you have for one another because you are of the same family ~ "blood is thicker than water" ~. It's a love that is devoted and willing to do almost anything - even die. It's not unheard of that a parent would willingly give up his/her life for his/her child. But most parents would not give up their life for another person's child especially if they are not related and there is animosity between them (But God did that for us - we weren't related to Him yet, we were His enemy and He still sent Jesus to die for us in order to give us life).
Phileo refers to a strong liking or a strong friendship - tender affection. It implies a strong emotional connection & is platonic in nature. We can find the word Phileo in the word Philadelphia, "brotherly love." When you Phileo someone you can forgive and overlook their faults.
Eros, Storge, and Phileo are all based on emotions and affections. God intended love to be more than just passion, romantic feelings, and emotional expressions. Love is a verb. Love is a choice.
Agape is the love used to describe God's unconditional love towards us. Agape love is not an emotions based, warm fuzzy kind of love.
Unconditional means "no conditions." There are no conditions to God's love. There is nothing we can do to make God love us more. And there is nothing we can do to make God love us less (doesn't matter what we feel - that is what the Word of God says, His Word is Truth). We may choose not to love God; but we cannot stop God from loving us. We may not feel loved by God, but our feelings lie to us. Just because we don't feel something doesn't mean it's not true. This may sound like a silly example, but...someone could have terminal cancer yet not feel sick in spite of what the tests reveal. So does this mean because he doesn't feel sick and doesn't want to believe it he's not?
Unconditional love doesn't mean there aren't consequence for out actions (sin - how we hate that word. We'd rather "candy coat" it by saying things like, "human, " "mistake.") God loves the worst of sinners to the most "saintliest of saints." But that unconditional love in and of itself will not keep a person from facing the possiblity of going to hell. Our sin is the problem, not God's love. Our sin must be dealt with, either by accepting God's gift of salvation or by suffering God's ultimate judgment. We make the choice where we want to spend eternity, yet we blame God for things that are not His fault. His love frees us from hell (and the bondage of sin), but we have to make that decision. He didn't give his life on the cross to serve Himself, but to serve us who were lost in our sins.
In addition to being an all-loving God, He is also all-holy and all-just. Because of His holiness, God cannot stand sin in His presence and because of His justice there has to be punishment (punishment = consequences & thinking of the questions Owl asked). Justice must be executed and served for those who refused on earth His free "pardon."
Agape love is a giving love - giving of one's self - sacrificially. Well, God has certainly done that. He has given us physical life and He desires to give us eternal life. Eternal life isn't something we earn, it's something we receive - given to us because of God's unconditional love. If someone died and left us an inheritance he/she probably gave it to express his/her love for us & wanted to make certain provisions for us. If we refuse to take it (thinking, "he/she really didn't love me") or we throw it away without cashing the check (opening the gift), we miss out on that inheritance - that gift - that blessing.
There are so many songs that speak the truth about God's love for us.
THE NAILS IN YOUR HANDS
"The nails in Your hands
the nails in Your feet
they tell me how much You love me.
The thorns on Your brow
they tell me how
You bore so much shame
to love me..."
THIS IS LOVE
"Nail-pierced hands,
a wounded side
This is love,
this is love
The holy heart was sacrificed
This is love,
this is love...
The Son of God died for us
This is love,
this is love
He walked the hill and bore the cross
This is love,
this is love..."
THE WONDERFUL CROSS
"When I survey the wondrous cross
on which the Prince of Glory died...
...See from His head,
His hands,
His feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did e'er such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown...
...Love so amazing so divine..."
We can have absolute certainty that God loves us, because He sent His son to suffer in our place and give us eternal life; that's the greatest display of Agape. God sent Jesus to die for us, not because we were good enough, but because He loved us (whether we feel He loves us or not).
But often times, I think we determine God's love towards us based on our circumstances ("I have a great job that I enjoy. Yes, God loves me!" "I hate my job. God doesn't love me." "I lost my job. God doesn't love me." "I desire to be married & have children. I'm old, been single all my life. God doesn't love me.") We don't understand how a loving God - a loving Father would allow certain things to happen to us - why He doesn't fix things so we don't have to endure so much pain. Because we live in a "fallen world" pain and sorrow are everywhere - in third world countries their suffering is very intense.
God often doesn't do things the way we think He should ("My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, " says the LORD. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts, " Isaiah 55:8-9). We can struggle with the same things over & over & pray & things don't seem to get better. As a result, we feel defeated & unloved & the enemy takes advantage of that. He gets us questioning God's Word, doubting God's love, thinking that God is holding something back. It may seem that God is silent, but God is never silent. What looks like silence and inactivity to us is God allowing us the opportunity to listen to "the still small voice" and to see the provisions that He has made for us by faith. God speaks to us through His Word. When God seems silent, it may mean that we have stopped listening to His voice, we have allowed the cares of this world to "plug" our spiritual ears or we have neglected His Word. God speaks to us through the Bible.
I Corinthians 13 is called the Love chapter. I have heard certain teachings say in order to get a better understanding of God's love read that chapter, but use the word God every time you see the word love. The King James Bible uses the word "charity" to describe Agape (love).
Charity is more than giving money for some good cause ~ "And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not charity (love), it profits me nothing, " I Corinthians 13:3. According to this verse, it is possible to give all your goods to feed the poor and yet not have charity (or even God - lots of generous unbelievers out there).
The word charity comes from the French root "caritas, " which means "Christian Love." Charity is an act of love. Charity is the love toward others that suffers long with them and is kind, that does not behave unseemly, seek to get its own way, or is easily provoke; that rejoices not in the iniquity of others; that bears, believes, hopes, and endures.
Charity is kindness and giving generously to the needy & suffering. Doesn't that describe God's love. Can't we be needy & don't we suffer at times? Doesn't God give to us kindness (His kindness leads us to repentance.)? Doesn't God give to us generously (Every good & perfect comes from Him - He has given us breath)?
God may not give us everything we desire; ut that's not how we should measure God's love - that doesn't mean He doesn't love us. Do our earthly parents give us everything we want? What happens to a child that is given everything he wants & doesn't have to take any responsibility for his actions. What kind of child have the parents "created? "
No matter what our circumstance may be, we can't allow that to be the bases on whether or not we think God loves us. That's why the Bible tells us to be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2). When we feel He doesn't love us we can't listen to the lies of the enemy, whose goal is to destroy us. We need to change our negative, destructive thoughts into godly, Biblical thoughts. We need to think of the things that are true (Philippians 4:8). We do that by meditating on Scripture.
God is Agape.